A few Wednesdays ago I ate about 2 grams of mushrooms at about 8pm. This was possibly the most beautiful night of my life. Walter and I drove around on this really secluded road in the forest when it started hitting me. The road became a tunnel and the clouds started glowing and moving really quickly.
We stopped by a café and I stood in the parking lot spinning and looking at the clouds. It was a very stormy day, and the sky was magnificent. We drove up to a playground with a hill and slides. I stood on top of the hill and spun around. It was very windy, and when I closed my eyes I could picture myself being the wind, blowing over various scenes in which wind would play a role, such as a field of tall grass or sand dunes. I was the wind. Suddenly, random scenes from my memory flashed in my mind, many different pictures of the various skies I’ve seen. I laid flat on the wet grass, whispering “I won’t ever see it all” over and over again. I started crying, greatly upset by the fact that I won’t ever have a chance to see the whole world.
We then drove to the very top of a hill, which overlooked many cities. Cities at night, from far away, look like nerve cells. We sat in Walter’s car, listening to Joanna Newsom. Her voice, the words, and the music itself created the images I saw when I closed my eyes. I was able to use the music to build various structures. My hands were flames, trees, flowers. Everything looked like paper. I went through colorful, glowing tunnels, and entered a world in which every little thing was made out of tiny beads. When I moved my hands, the pictures in my mind moved as well. I was able to control what I saw. This was such a wonderful moment.
It was almost ten at this point, and I really wanted to go into the lights of the cities. Walter and I drove through a nearby city, and all the lights blurred, swirled, and danced. On our way back home, we listened to MGMT and Chairlift, and I closed my eyes and danced intensely in the passenger seat. It was so incredibly fun. I felt very disgusted whenever I said mean words like “fuck” or “hate”. I realized that hate is a very pointless emotion. Also, during this whole experience, I kept trying to tell Walter everything I saw, but realized that it didn’t matter if I can’t share everything. Somehow, my mind made a connection from that to how it’s okay that I can’t control everything around me, since it’ll all turn out okay in the end. I wish sober me was as positive and friendly as insane me.
Sunset, Rain, MGMT, Beauty... And Mushrooms, Of Course
I just returned from Sasquatch music festival at the Gorge, Washington.
First night, shitty acid, I took three hits and didn’t feel all that much. Ran around the camp making friends with drunks and singing on top of a white van. Second and third days, smoked a few joints (first time rolling them, haha) during LCD Soundsystem and others, etc. Good days, but not as good as…
The LAST day… Ellie ate approx. 2.5g of mushrooms, and I ate 3.5 - 4 grams of mushrooms at the end of She & Him’s set (6:20 pm). The previously white/tan mushrooms had turned black in some places - does anyone know anything about this? As Band of Horses played their first few songs it really hit hard. Sort of waves of intensity coming over me, excitement, anxiety, warmth. At T+ 00:45 I could close my eyes and see colors and shapes morphing together. From then until T+ 1:30 it only became more and more intense. I began to look at Ben Bridwell and understand his emotions. Or, maybe not understand them, but notice them in their entirety. He was SO EMOTIONAL. I could tell that he really loved playing at the Gorge, the most beautiful venue in the world, and really loved his fellow bandmates and the audience. The lights behind the musicians floated into their bodies and seemed overly bright. I looked to my left and my friend’s girlfriend’s face was… alive. Her freckles and wrinkles were swimming, and her eyes had lit up with happiness. She looked at me curiously and I fell into laughter. I looked back at the band (we were 20 feet from the stage) and couldn’t stop smiling. Band of Horses finished, they walked off stage patting each other on the back, they had done an amazing job, it was so beautiful.
In between then and MGMT, I turned around and Ellie and I made friends. Her face looked so… different, and she said mine did too. Everyone was on something. Love, and friendship, and community and understanding just flowed through the pit. People’s voices were flowing together, creating this buzz that I could feel on my ears. I kept asking people, “Do you hear that??” Everyone’s hair was blowing in the wind, flowing and swirling and alive, electric. It was magical. TIme had pretty much lost all meaning. Two of my friends had left to see another band at the end of Band of Horses, and halfway through the break, it seemed like ages ago that they’d left. Ages, or in another life. Another section of time? I’m not sure. I told the people around me “I’m going to be so sad when I have to turn around,” and it was so true; I felt so attached to our new friends, and knew that once MGMT started and I had to turn around, I wouldn’t see them again. It was saddening.
MGMT started. Everything is a blur now. The crowd went WILD, people were falling over, dancing, pushing, crowd-surfing. CROWD-SURFING. Everyone was. There seemed to be a constant flow of people riding on top of the crowd, crushing me and the people around me. I lost Ellie. We were all tripping or rolling or baked… I remember someone shouting “WHY?? Why are you all crowd-surfing?!” During Electric Feel, someone turned to me. “When they play Kids, someone’s gonna die.” I looked up at the people in the VIP section to the left of the stage. Someone’s shirt had faces on it, and they were moving, all of them. They were dancing along with the music. I looked at the sky, the clouds and sky were merging together, it seemed as though there were infinite layers of clouds and sky, like a layered cake. I looked backwards, towards the bowl of the amphitheater; the gentle slope suddenly seemed like cliffs. Ellie noticed this too. People on the hill lost all definition, they became colored shirts and pants and faces. The tress along the top of the bowl seemed to be dancing. My mind was racing, crazy, thoughts flowed through and bounced around my mind, I felt insane. A girl on MDMA offered me Vitamin C pills but I had no idea what she was talking about. “Kids” played, and we went wild. I looked into the sky - it had started to rain, slightly - and closed my eyes. I couldn’t stop myself from crying. “This is beautiful!” I shouted, and it was. The most meaningful moment of my life.
After the show had ended, I wandered around the pit for a while, unsure how to get out. I staggered around in circles, smiled at strangers, sat on the ground and talked to australian girls. Finally I made it to our decided meeting spot. I sat with my sober friends, confused, elated, quiet. Ellie appeared with a funnel cake (neither of us understand how she was able to buy it), and we talked excitedly about what had happened and what was still happening. I got a text from my sister back home, who wanted to know when I was leaving. My parents wanted me to call them, but I was in no state to do that. I texted my sister:
"On shrooms. Can’t call. I’m safe, we all are, leaAving soon. : ))))"
She responded with:
"They’re happy with that response. don’t hurt yourself! and leave my tshirt out so i can wear it tomorrow"
My heart died. Happy with that response? Suddenly I thought I understood: my sister had shown the text to my parents, and they knew I had taken shrooms. They were okay with it because I was safe, but they would not be happy when I got home. My facade of innocence was over. The realization sank into me physically. I never felt more scared, but at the same time, something had changed. My friends were standing around me, laughing me, taking my hand to leave. They laughed at my state of shock, but in the kindest, most loving way imaginable. I was utterly screwed, but I was loved, and things were okay. Things were so, so OKAY for the first time. Pure beauty. The New Pornographers were playing in the background. We walked along the road, back towards the campsite and our car.
I walked so slowly, haha. Everyone seemed to be okay with my Ellie’s and my state of mind. She had walked up to an EMT person about an hour before and asked “We’re okay, right?” He smiled, and nodded. And it was this way everywhere. The “Crowd Management” officials, who I normally disliked, were talking with the concert-goers in a friendly, equal manner. Equality, friendship, haha, I know it sounds redundant, but that energy was everywhere. I sang a song about cars, and how I was a car. I said good bye to the canadians. I went to the bathroom - the honey bucket seemed to rock back and forth like a boat. We got in the car and began our trip home. Driving made no sense. I babbled nonsense to my friends; I did this the last time I did shrooms, as well. I realized that shrooms are an outdoors drug; once I went indoors, I focused on talking, which was a circular trap of empty words. I looked at my hand (it was now ~T+ 04:30) and my fingers moved and wiggled.
TL;DR (and conclusion): Reading over this, there is so much I cannot possibly describe because it was such a mental trip. I’ve described so many visuals, but they aren’t the point - they’re just a bonus. The insanity, or the transformation of mental processes into something entirely alien is what really matters. The beauty and joy that peaked at sunset during Kids in the warm rain was a once in a lifetime experience, I will never forget it as long as I live. I feel more motivated and content now (a day later). It is ignorant to push away this drug because of social stigma, or to claim “life is better without it”. It has benefitted my life profoundly. Thanks for reading.
P.S. It turned out that my parents didn’t, and don’t know what happened. They were just happy with the fact that I was safe and heading home.
During the 4/20 get-together hosted in my room, I was instructed to keep the lovely Celeste, who is Walter’s beautiful little bong, in my possession until Walter could pick it up at a later time. Three days later he was at my doorstep. Celeste in hand I was ready to hand her over to her rightful owner, and continue my Friday night alone in my bedroom, chatting with various online friends. But Walter mentioned he was in possession of some salvia (which is legal in Washington, hurrah!) Now, my only other occasion with salvia was with Tabetha, when I had put a pinch in my chewing gum, producing no real effect other than itchy gums. Looking at that experience I wasn’t expecting much, regardless of means of ingestion. So I asked Walter if he’d been planning on smoking it with friends or by himself, upon his indecision (and my mother’s absence) I offered my bedroom as a safe trip location, as per usual.
I have to admit, Walter was very nervous about the experience at first, and his anxiety flowed onto me and got my stomach in knots; if this was anything like he was expecting, I’d better expect a lot. Sitting on my bed, I set up the music in my zune dock, playing my “Inebriation playlist” I’ve made for the perfect aural experience while I smoke the usual pot. Walter packed Celeste with the salvia, eyeballing the amount, approximately 1/4g. He instructed me, “If I need to fall over, take Celeste.” Agreeing to it, he lit up and took a huge hit, practically the whole quarter gram had vaporized into clean, white smoke, that smelt of mint and strawberry (Walter had bought a strawberry flavored gram). Taking Celeste from him, I took what was rest in the chamber, which wasn’t much. Will flopped onto his side on my bed, only to pop up two seconds later grinning at me and laughing hysterically, telling me something along the lines of “You’re a hard hitter.” I couldn’t really understand through the bouts of crazy cackling. Suddenly I felt very high, as if I’d smoked three bowls of weed in one sitting. I was very heavy, and his giggling made me giggly, also. Walter was now staring at the corner of my wall, making ‘cutting’ motions in the air vertically, practically yelling to me, “THERE ARE TWO TEAMS! ONE TEAM IS THERE.. AND THE OTHER THERE! WE ARE ON THIS TEAM, I NEED TO SAVE YOU!” Pointing to my two walls as he was shouting. He was seemingly distraught, telling me in a more hushed voice, “It’s the music!” and pointing to my speaker. Not wanting him to have an anxiety attack, and realizing that the song I had noted as to “Not listen to while taking hallucinogens due to nervous tempo.” I reached over and disconnected my zune from its dock, stopping the music altogether. Laying back and enjoying the feeling of cool heaviness my body had succumb to, I watched Walter lay on his side now, breathing quietly and coming down from his short bout of hysteria.
Walter had come down and the heaviness was lightening after 5 minutes or so, (my time perception was skewed, looking back at how long the whole ordeal was, I’m piecing times together) and I wanted to hallucinate like Walter had experienced. Leaning back on my wall, sitting on my bed with a pillow behind my lower back, I watched as he packed Celeste with more of the strawberry-scented drug. Readying myself he said “I’ll take Celeste once you hit it.”
Nodding, I lit her up, inhaling all of the smoke quickly and holding it in as long as I can, exhaling some through my nose while trying not to cough. Placing my head in my hands I felt woozy, exhaling the rest of the smoke that filled my lungs. Thinking that I hadn’t gotten the kind of reaction Walter had, I leaned back onto the wall with my eyes closed, feeling slightly disappointed I hadn’t seen anything. Two seconds later, my whole body was heavy, my back, butt, and the back of my thighs tingling fiercely and intensely cold, as if I were being lifted completely there. Opening my eyes, the blue wall I was leaning on had vanished, and I was on a sort of.. different plane. Not in my room, in some kind of endless, blue reality. Looking back at the vanished wall and the infinite blue atmosphere behind me, I was confused as to why I was sitting upright, and how the force of cold and tingling was holding me up. I was flying on the bed, pressing and hitting my back on my wall, trying to collapse the unseen force restricting me from lying down.
Feeling like my bed was the only solid and real object in my room, I slumped over, sitting on my side and facing my poster-plastered wall opposite me. It felt as though I was upright, looking at things that were flipped 90 degrees, cemented to my bed, becoming part of my bed. Staring at the beautiful colors of these pictures, it was like they were at least one hundred feet away from where I was looking, while in reality they were only approximately ten. All of the posters mixed into one object, separate but complete, creating a sort of semi-circle, the consistency of a sheet hung to dry with a small breeze swaying it and rippling the surface, constantly fluctuating and changing its edges, like there were small ripples and waves going around the boundary of color. I have posters of Marilyn Monroe and David Bowie, and I believed that Bowie was talking to me, not in English, but I could understand it. We had a very short conversation as Marilyn shifted slightly and blinked at me. I don’t remember what I thought he was saying, but it was oddly comforting and I know it was meaningful, I remember trying to nod at him in approval. Staring at this wonder, I couldn’t move, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t do anything but marvel at this moving, rippling thing. My chest was becoming tighter, my breathing sporadic, and I was getting more and more scared about how I couldn’t move, and how fast everything had changed into this huge… hallucination.
As I was sitting there in a hallucinogen-induced stupor, flying through the seemingly infinite atmosphere of blue, chasing the sheet of posters, Walter had moved into my line of vision, taking a smaller hit of what I hadn’t gotten to inhale, and going to sit down in the corner opposite me, in the corner of my poster-wall (where there is a small space void of poster). This happened in an instant in my mind, Walter was suddenly in my line of vision, holding something white to his face (the smoke) and then he was instantly sitting in the corner. This really messed with my perception, seeing Walter floating somewhere near the constantly moving arc of color, halfway snapping me back into reality, but also making it even more trippy, having him suddenly be in my vision. He later told me that I pointed to him and asked, “What are you doing there?! You’re not supposed to be there, why are you there?” Thinking he was messing up my trip, he moved back onto the bed, apologizing. Moving my head back to rest on the bed I started to breathe normally, closing my eyes and shielding myself from the anxiety that this reality I was thrust into created. Feeling less tingly and cold, the wall became a wall once again, and I could un-stick myself from the bed, sitting up and looking at Walter. We both breathed a heavy sigh and looked at each other, understanding that what we had just experienced was completely intense, new, scary, fun, and invigorating. Still coming down from the high, I laid down on my bed once more and pondered what had just happened. While I was hallucinating, it felt like an eternity, like I had always been in that atmospheric plane, always stuck to my bed, looking upright at the sheet of pictures and somehow conversing with the 20 year old posters I had. Looking back at it, immediately after I snapped out of it I knew it was only a matter of a few short minutes. My questions are; Why? How? Where? Why do our minds react this way when presented with a simple herb, plant, or chemical? Why are we transported somewhere completely different, completely.. ethereal? How do we change during the time we’re inebriated? How is the brain changing what we see regularly into this mad wonderland of movement and feeling? Where are we taken to? Where exactly, in our minds, do we go?
Prior to my first class, my twinsie Walter gave me a pot brownie. Other than tasting sort of stale, it wasn’t that bad. Not like when you’re smoking and you accidentally get some in your mouth and then it’s just awkward because you don’t want to waste it. I should mention that I am high at this very moment.
So I went to class. I was hungry, either from not eating breakfast or from the brownie, I don’t really know. Nothing all that bad was happening. It was pretty chill. I didn’t really notice much. It was a Thursday, by the way.
Eventually that ends and I go to my next class, which happens to be a film class. We talk about a test and do some other bullshit, and we finish watching “2001: A Space Odyssey” and OH. MY. GOD. IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW. I figured what it’s about. I know man, I fucking know. The black slab is an alien serviellance machine sent here after their planet was destroyed by a super nova. They survielled our planet for years, millenia even. They watched us grow and grow from planetary infanthood into the glorious planet we are now. And it sent back the pictures to the UFO’s the aliens were in. When it sent out it’s signal to the mothership, it let out a high pitched tone that can disrupted the internal and electrical structure of many, non-advanced technologies, such as communications and the HAL 9000. That’s why he went all fuckity on those astronauts. Then we see the slab floating through space, returning home with the information. It was about to go into hyperspace when the ship came by and TOOK IT WITH IT. That’s what that 10 minute acid trip was about. The Vortex portal on the way home. And then as he dies he imagines seeing himself go through the stages of life, and as he lays on his death bed, he points to the slab, trying to warn us that THE ALIENS ARE MOTHER FUCKING COMING.
Once that was over, I went straight to my theatre class. Oh, did I meantion I had my IB Internal Assesment that day? Because I did. I had to talk for 20 straight minutes about my “Theatre Experience”. And I had visuals. Good fucking visuals. Shit man.
I don’t remember much, except that I said something about my first play when I was 7, where I was a rabbit, and I held up a picture of a real rabbit and said that this is approxamately what I looked like. Then I think I tickled it. Then I talked about the play “Death Trap” and how I felt about it. I held up a picture of that fat kid from UP looking really scared. Then I talked about the play “The Shadowbox” and how I felt about that. I held up a picture of a sad fat kid. I talked about my first scene that I did with this fucker named Norm and I believe at one point I said “I FUCKING hate Norm! I’m going to beat the SHIT out of him! I don’t give two shits about that asshole!” And then a girl said, “Do you give one?” and I yelled “NO!” I then proceeded to talk about “The Good Woman of Setzuan” and how this hoooker named Shen-Te was really nice and made cupcakes for things like bunnies and kittens. Then I got tunnel vision and looked DIRECTLY at this kid named Henry. He had nice hair and a clean shaven face, so we called him a kitty. I couldn’t help myself. I had said the word kittens, and now I was looking RIGHT AT HIM. I just yelled “JUST LIKE HENRY!!!!” At another point, I couldn’t think of the word “superficial” so I just twaved my hands horizontally back and forth and somehow my teacher understood and asked “You mean superficial?” and I yelled, “YES. SOOBERFICIAL….fuck”. After the cluster-fuck that was my IB presentation, I went to lunch. Everything tasted great, I can say that. I began talking and I heared an echo, but then it went away. But there it was again! My friends said it wasn’t there, but it totally fucking was. It was. Someone told me my eyeliner had smudged and I looked like a vampire. I started crying and asked Ellie to make me look like a non-vampire, and being the nice Polish person she is, she did. And then things got fucked up. I went to French class, where we were watching the movie “La Glorie de Mon Père”. The boy who sits behind me pretended to punch me in the face, and I freaked the fuck out. I think he asked if I was high, but I’m not sure. Then I told the girl next to me something really weird, then noticed it was weird, and apologized for telling her that. Madame started the movie. There were a lot of pretty colors, so naturally I assumed it was a fairytale. Then at some point a woman gives birth and, looking at the child, turns to her husband and says, “I can’t believe you did that to me.” As in, she can’t believe that just having sex can make a huge fucking baby. However, being totally fucking stoned, I interpreted this as he raped her. I fucking lost it. A fairytale about rape? WHAT? I don’t know what happened the rest of class, but I met my Mormon friend Pattyn ouside the classroom to walk to art. Along the way, I saw Morris in the hall and supposedly I just hugged him and started bawling. Apparently Ellie and Walter were there, too. I vividly remember a Jewish boy I know in the hall yelling at a tanned girl and I just began to shout “YOU’RE JEEEEEEEEEEEEWISH!!! JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWISH!!!!” (I love Jews). In art class, I spent most of my time at Pattyn’s desk because I didn’t feel safe at mine anymore. She was drawing a skeleton and I thought the paper was blue, but it wasn’t. I slept a lot. At times I couldn’t find my art teacher, and I was conviced he was going to come up behind me and choke me and know I was high, even though my back was against the wall. Then Pattyn, being a total bitch, tried to convince me that her gold bracelet was green and that she was a purple peeping wizard. Also, I could not keep time. I kept asking how long we had been in there and every time she would answer “about 5 minutes”. I knew she was lying, because eventually I just wrote down the time and began checking it until class let out and I had to go to fucking Precalc. ONLY NO ONE FUCKING TOLD ME WE WERE LEARNING HYPERBOLAS THAT DAY. I still don’t know how to do them. I just drew a Mexican on a mustachioed donkey being chased by Sponebob riding on the back of a rabid clam. Marie took me to the park by City Hall afterwards to babysit me. It was sunny that day, so, of course, I thought we were in California. 100% logical. I was tired now. I wanted Corrina. Only she was too busy fucking her stupid boyfriend Pierre. Fuck Pierre and fuck the French. Marie says we called Corrina at some point and I got really pissed and called her a cunt, but I was still in a child’s voice so it sounded weird. Then I cried for my Klillow, which is like a pillow but somehow combined with Henry, because he’s so soft. Then Ellie and Walter showed up. I seriously don’t know what happened after that. I just don’t fucking know. The End.
To pre-game for 4/20, I decided to take some shrooms for 4/19. I took one extra long, thick stem and ate that. I hadn’t eaten anything at all that day, which probably increased the intensity of my trip.
I ate a stem. Around half an hour later, I started feeling the effects. I was on Facebook. Someone who(m) I greatly dislike on my friends list had a status up saying “Sneaker Pimps is my new favorite band!!” I got extremely upset. Sneaker Pimps was MY favorite band. How dare this person steal it from me?! A few seconds later, my dad called me downstairs to tell me something stupid. I don’t even remember what it was, just that it was stupid. This made me even more angry. I got back into my room in a rage. I knew I was being unrealistic, but I couldn’t help my anger.
I realized that it was getting dark, so I turned the light on in my bedroom. I was facing my laptop, which meant my back was to the light. Every few seconds I looked up into the light, getting happier each time. Not long after, my anger faded away. I was beginning to feel happy… naive… timid… this transformation of emotions turned me into a fox. The fox from The Little Prince, to be exact. I had the biggest, dumbest grin on my face.
I went onto Facebook Chat and started talking to Ellie, Walter, Marie, Tabatha, Tina, Pierre and Danielle. I had so many things to say, so I decided to tell certain people certain things.
Someone on my friends list had a status that said something like “drinking decaf tea; it’s great!” I saw the word “decaf” and was confused. Marie told me that meant “decaffeinated”. My line of thought went something like: decaffeinated - decaf - de caf - de calf - (calf = baby cow) - de baby cow - to get rid of a baby cow - to get rid of a baby. So I thought decaf meant abortion…
Not long after, I felt myself get tunnel vision. It was bizarre. After the quick episode, I felt like I was in Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video. I felt like I was the one who made it happen - I wrote the song, chereographed it, directed it and produced it. I then started thinking about Christmas. Since I was responsible for the “Single Ladies” video, which was extremely popular, I would be rich. I could buy everyone nice Christmas presents… except Tabatha, since she loved Jews.
The thought of me being so rich made me happy. I began sobbing out of joy. I listened to Christmas songs on YouTube.
I began to realize that I was being ridiculous. I told Marie that if God was with me, he would tell me things. Marie asked me what he would tell me. I then realized that I don’t speak God language, so he would tell me things, but I wouldn’t be able to understand him.
I told Marie that I needed to get off Facebook because I was so close to reaching enlightenment. I wanted to go outside, but Marie told me to stay inside. I pondered this, then realized that I would be hit by a car and die if I went outside. I stood at my window and looked outside for a little bit, then realized that if something like Godzilla popped over the horizon, he/she/it would see me and I would die. This scared me, so I went into my kitchen and huddled next to the refridgerator and rocked backed in forth in the fetal position for about 45 minutes. When I felt better, I took all the food from my pantry and put it on my bed. I cuddled with up the food and took a nap. I woke up about 20 minutes later, realized I wasn’t hungry, then threw all the perfectly good, albeit cuddled, food away.
I went to sleep, and the effects were gone by the time I had to go to school, except for the fact that objects in motion left visible trails, and it was uncomfortable to be in my classes, since they were so bright.
My first time smoking out of a bong was quite the experience. I heard it was better than any other form of marijuana consumption, but it is difficult to imagine the difference. I had my bong virginity taken by a ROOR bong, which is arguably the best kind of bong. This is similar to the bong I smoked out of: http://www.unsaccodicanapa.com/roor_photo_gallery/giuliana.jpg. It belonged to my friend Pierre’s dealer, Joey.
I arrived at Joey’s house with Pierre. It was interesting, to say the least. There were six people already there, smoking out of bongs of all different shapes and sizes. I had the impression that I was in some sort of weed culture orgy. I stood in the kitchen, where everyone was smoking. I got contact high, but still felt the need to take hits from the ROOR. The marijuana itself was incredible. It was the Northern Lights variation, which I believe is one of the strongest available. The first hit I took burned like hell. I had trouble breathing and I couldn’t stop coughing long enough to take a drink of water. Pierre told me I had to smoke until I couldn’t feel the pain anymore… so I did. I took two more hits and the pain disappeared pretty quickly. According to Pierre, I took a fourth hit, but I do not remember this.
Fast forward to half an hour-ish later*, and I become more aware of my surroundings (from the time after my third hit to this point is completely gone in my memory). Pierre and I were the only ones in Joey’s house. Everyone else left… next thing I realize, I’m half-naked, laying in the middle of Joey’s living room. I had hickies and bite marks all over me. Pierre was somewhere in the vicinity, but I honestly was too gone to even care. I looked up at the ceiling and started hallucinating. The normally white ceiling started getting patterns all over it. They looked like legos stacked together, but the pattern was waving like a flag. I was under the impression that I was looking at a quilt of legos. The pattern was similar to this: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_cJL9LeU3CTY/SxcBKbnylrI/AAAAAAAAAr8/KJhnfBeOjHE/s400/legokitchen1.jpg.
Like I said though, the pattern was waving like a flag or perhaps ocean tides. On top of the lego quilt thing, there were infinity signs, but the signs were made out of more infinity signs, which were made of more infinity signs, and so on. For some reason, I just knew that I was looking at a projection of my DNA onto the ceiling. It just felt so right. On top of that, there were two pokemon cards. First was Chansey, and she was in my main vision, but Mr. Mime was off to the side.
Fast forward to fifteen minutes-ish later, I was laying in Joey’s amazing leather couch. For some reason, Barney kept coming into my mind. Joey had a poster of LeBron James dunking a basketball in a basketball hoop. I stared at it for a while, then realized that, no matter what, that poster and I would be infinite. Forever. Nothing could change the fact that I was there and that the poster was there. I had the sudden urge to get Goldfish crackers and just lick the salty side of them. I told Pierre this, and he made dino chicken nuggets and french fries. They were amazing. I dipped them into some weird sauce, which may or may not have been caramel sauce (Hint: It was).
Some time later (I give up pretending to know the times), I spoke with Ellie, Walter and Ryan on the phone. I do not remember any of the conversations, but I do know I called them/they called me because of my phone records and speaking with them later. I was texting a ton of different people throughout my trip.
After having a phone conversation with someone, I went into the kitchen and was bewildered by the clocks. It was only two hours after I hit the ROOR! It felt like days passed since that moment. I kept asking Pierre if someone stole the real clocks and replaced them with slow clocks. And apparently, I was speaking like a five year old and kept pouting, but this was unintentional.
Pierre and I went to watch tv. Jersey Shore was on. We watched a bit of that, but the people in the show started fighting. I thought they were mad at me personally, so I started crying. Pierre felt bad and turned the channel to Animal Planet. There was a show on about whales and their use of echolocation. They played the audio of the echolocation and I felt it in my head. I thought I could speak whale! I was so excited. I tried telling Pierre, but I couldn’t find the words to speak. I knew what I wanted to say, but I couldn’t say it.
After I got home, I was still quite stoned, even though this was around six hours later. I called my dad gay, then proceeded to tell him about the dangers of AIDS. I remember either telling him to get it or not get it, I’m not sure which one though. I went up to my room and then played “Blue” by Eiffel 65. I kept thinking to myself “Jesus Christ, this is the best song ever. Why isn’t this popular anymore?” Then I nommed dinner, which was chili. I’m normally not a fan of it, but I ate a ton that night.
I then went to sleep and had one of the best nights of sleep that I had ever gotten.
*I actually had no perception of time, that is just an estimate.
tl;dr - Smoke Northern Lights out of a ROOR, you will trip balls.
Tonight (around 8:00 pm, April 23, 2010) I smoked salvia divinorum for the first time.
I bought a gram of 40x for $40 a few weeks ago; it’s legal in the beautiful state of Washington. I was bored tonight, and my friend Ado had my little bong, so I asked her if I could pick it up. When I got there, I told her how I was planning on smoking salvia. Ado asked if I was going to do it alone or with friends - I replied I hadn’t thought much about it. She offered to let me use her room, and we decided to try it together.
We went upstairs, sat on her bed, and I loaded about .25g of the salvia into the little bong (named Celeste).
I took the hit, feeling really nervous, and held it in. It was a large hit, spilling out of my mouth as a mini-coughed a few times. I took a final breath of air to lodge the smoke entirely in my lungs, and held it. I remembered thinking, Should I lay down? They all lay down in the youtube videos. I began to lay down, but quickly sat back up, realizing that I didn’t feel the need to lay down at all. Then the drug hit me, and I felt my head land on the soft bed.
There is a small gap in my memory, but suddenly I was in another… Reality? Dimension? My mind wasn’t normal by any stretch. Everything was rapid, I had no time to analyze or think, things were just happening. In retrospect I was completely insane. Anyway, in this parallel dimension, there were many semicircles that ran vertically along the axis of my vertical pair of eyes. My head was glued to the bed, perhaps even part of it. The semicircles were specifically orange and yellow. There were small orange and yellow beings that were made purely of color. Ado was laying down as well now, and she was fading into the orange and yellow semicircles. The beings were building her, along with the rest of the world. A song was playing, from her computer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZrzsVimIS4). The music sounded LOUD, deafening. It created the environment and the mood. The higher-pitched notes in the song became the small beings’ words. I don’t think it was literally english, but I knew that what they were saying was the equivalent of “putting it together, putting it together,” chanted in a whimsical and playful, yet meaningful and serious manner. They were carrying bits of color, and stacking them on top of each other in order to construct the bed, Ado, the walls, the desk - everything.
In these first few moments, my brain did the best it could to cope with what was happening. The beings seemed normal, like they were supposed to be there. It felt like I had always been in this dimension, and that I would be part of it forever. This is the hardest part of the trip to understand: the instantaneous transition from normality to a timeless and infinite place of dancing, chanting beings. After a few moments, I began to wonder why I was there, why the beings were there, and who exactly the girl they were building was. Who/what was I? I tried to sit up, but didn’t make it very far. According to Ado, I shouted at her, amidst the hysterical laughter: “There are two teams! [Probably referring to the orange and yellow] They are here, and there, and we are on this team! I have to save you…” Then more laughter.
The voices of the beings began to sound like they were coming from the speakers, and as I realized this, I pointed it out to Ado. She reached to turn the music off, saying I was freaking out. Once it was off, it seemed as though the beings were being stifled. I could still feel the semicircles and the building, but the chanting had stopped. I spent the rest of the 15 minute trip regaining the ability to talk, and sit up, and think clearly.
tl;dr - Take salvia. Weirdest thing ever. I’m glad I experienced it.
Last night, April 18-19, 2010, I ate two mushrooms, which according to my calculations was about .25g. Normally, barely anything significant is supposed to happen at such a low dosage, but I have a tendency to react very strongly to all drugs. This was the first time I had eaten mushrooms; previously the most I had consumed was vicodin.
About half an hour after I ate them, my green walls became greener, and the room appeared to sway. It felt as though I was on a boat. I figured that this was the most that would happen, since I did not expect much from such a small amount.
I proceeded to finish my history homework, but the words in my book became very blurry. I found that I was unable to focus on any object for longer than a few seconds. Everything seemed out of focus, and only when I looked at something closely did it become clear. However, as soon as I got it in focus, it slipped and faded away. Then I became fascinated with lights. There are four lights on the ceiling in my room. Whenever I moved, the lights seemed to move with me. Looking at the computer screen was especially interesting because it is so bright and colorful. I started seeing pink and purple bruise-like things on the screen.
I then decided to go downstairs and eat my red velvet cupcake. I felt very light and floaty while walking. I was extremely fascinated with how the white frosting seemed to blend with the red cake, creating a delightful pink blob. However, it didn’t taste any different than usual. I walked in circles around my kitchen, and then started to spin, all while looking at the lights above me. What I saw is what one would see in a light painting photograph.
I walked back upstairs and called Walter, since he had fallen asleep, and I felt an extreme need to tell someone about what I was experiencing and left a very long voicemail trying to explain. I thought I’d be able to sound normal and logical, but my thoughts were escaping me so quickly, thus I assume I was extremely incoherent. I then left Corrina a voicemail, which consisted of me laughing almost the entire time. While on the phone, everything suddenly became much more intense. The ceiling exploded into light which turned blue, gold, and purple if looked at the right way. It was so incredibly bright and beautiful. When I closed my eyes, I could see the light bulbs on a black background, with blue, red, and green swirls around them.
After I hung up, a friend sent me a link to a video of many different kaleidoscopic squares. I stared at this for about half an hour, while listening to Pandora. Music didn’t sound especially different. I went to the bathroom and there was a piece of string on the floor, but when I looked at it, it started moving in a very wormlike way. This was really frightening, but I was able to poke it with a pen and see that it was only string. During this entire experience I was still very conscious and aware of my surroundings. I could think logically, but I was unable to communicate that. I felt extremely happy and in love with everything.
I watched the video for a little while longer, but then decided I should probably attempt sleep. This was by far my favorite part of the entire night. When I closed my eyes, the patterns from the video were on the insides of my eyelids. My arms were pulled upwards, and I imagined giant trees growing where my arms are. When I reached up to touch the patterns which were now on my ceiling, they turned into bright blue stars. The universe was on my ceiling. I realized that the universe moved in whatever way I moved my tree-arms. I made waves and warps. I was able to condense the universe into a giant gold sphere, and I bit into a piece of it. It shattered in my mouth and disintegrated into tiny bits of glass, which later turned into stars that dissolved into my blood. This passed really quickly, and then I tried really hard to fall asleep. My mind was moving so quickly and I was unable to calm down. I tried to take advantage of my rapid thoughts by stringing words together in an attempt to create lyrics, or anything meaningful. I’m pretty sure that I created something rather marvelous, although I do not recall any of it. I fell asleep soon after that, and was really excited and happy when I woke up. The only downside to the entire experience was being nauseous all day.